I Apologize
I apologize as I have not been true to you for some time.
I've lived a great part of life living in your shadow.
Being the doorway to the greatness within you, but overshadowing your power with insecurity and fear.
There is a lioness that resides within your being, but like a coward I ran from your reflection.
Due to uncertainty, I have allowed you to hurt people along the way.
In hurting others, you damaged the soul that resides within.
It was never your intention to cause such hurt to those who have stood in the path of your self destruction,
but like any natural disaster, they may have seen warning signs of impending danger but held out hope for the best.
Growth is about acknowledging problems and making a means to rectify the wrongs that have been done.
Unfortunately, you have failed in this area as well.
I failed you by continuing to put on a mask that did not fit your face. Because of the awkward fit, the mask continuously fell.
With each hit, you attempted to withstand the damage that occurred only to endure further devastation.
But now, I am ready to take my final bow to the past and make my long awaited debut.
I apologize to myself for not being stronger but also recognize that I am human.
There are lessons to learn in life that I most certainly was not ready to receive.
As of today, I stand with my arms open wide ready to receive all that is meant for me.
Transparency is the doorway to growth.
- Constance West
Have you ever had to stand face to face with decisions that you have made and the consequences that followed? Running from and avoiding the consequences can appear to be easier than owning up to our faults. I am able to write this as I have been there. Unfortunately, on more occasions than I care to admit to. I have loved and I have lost. I have also spent ample time beating myself up for losses and mistakes which was not healthy. The problem with this reaction is that, while wallowing in the hurt, I was not taking the time to acknowledge the lessons to be learned with each circumstance. Due to this fact, I found myself in similar situations on a repeated basis. Transparency for me meant that I needed to own my faults through truth with myself. It is easy to disappoint others when you do not have expectations or boundaries established for you as an individual. This is at no fault to anyone else. I encourage all who read this to remember that you are human. As humans, we will make mistakes. I believe that transparency can be the doorway to growth. Transparency is not always easy, but once acknowledgement has occurred, healing can take place.
If you are in need of assistance with acknowledgment, boundaries, or expectations, please understand that you are not alone. The first step in solving any problem is acknowledging that there is a problem. Once acknowledgment has happened, transparency can begin!
Thank you for reading!